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  1. Post
    #1

    Name and shame

    Here I am up late shopping online for games. Looking them over a few I pass on them if they have quick time events, grinding, crafting or other staples of current gaming that I hate.
    Wanting to evaluate them quickly it dawns on me how mind numbingly simple or out-right useless the names are for describing the game to which they belong.

    "Skyrim". Maybe it's about flying, maybe a Skyrim is a high altitude volcanic rim, maybe it's a homoerotic game about rim-jobs or rimming? Wrong on all counts, it's a FPS / RPG hybrid fantasy game about Hansel und Gretel supping mead and slaying bears in the mountains wearing loincloths. This name has so many connotations I can't speak it's name in the presence of a non-gamer.

    "The Witcher". "He is a witcher" - Andrzej Sapkowski. The problem here of course is that Witcher is a gender specific term, Witchers are female sorcerers. Well at least they got something right to cater to todays audience, he (the main character) wears a hoodie.

    "Depth Hunter". Dearie me, where did I leave that depth? Is this a game about some kid going walkabout with his school ruler? No it's a game about spear fishing, err spear hunting sorry. Went hunting today, bagged a herd of blue cod.

    "SpaceMarine". A contradiction in terms. Marines are a mostly amphibious American army corps. Sure there are British Marines etc., but nobody ever uses the term in reference to them. In the game they're not from the USA, they are not even from Earth. What are the odds of an alien race also misnaming their space troopers as "marines" like Warhammer 40k has.

    "Sniper". For how many hours did they anguish before uttering this pièce de résistance. Maybe it'll be followed by the beautifully named "Soldier", and then maybe topped off in part 3 with the purely ingenious "Man With Gun"?

    "Stormrise". OMG look at the barometer, it's stormrise already and I'm not even out of bed.

    "EndGame: Air Superiority" (BF3 DLC). Lets end the war depicted in BF3 (and DLC series) with a DLC pack demonstrating how modern wars are begun. We don't care that we're saying the beginning is the end, we're EA, we are God.

    "Warfighter". The airwaves crackle... "And in breaking news war has broken out in Tardistan". "Well honey I'll be seeing you. Sometimes I regret my chosen occupation of Warfighter, but what's done is done".

    Kinda hard to click that "Add to cart" button when first impressions are so bad.
    Just found these, lol...
    http://www.gameinformer.com/b/featur...-mentions.aspx
    http://www.gamefront.com/11-games-wi...deep-analysis/

    As Fawkes (Fallout 3) would say: "Too fun".

  2. Post
    #2
    Usually threads have a point. What was it again?

  3. Post
    #3

  4. Post
    #4
    I can't believe Shakespeare named his play Macbeth. This guy is such a creative hack.

  5. Post
    #5
    DJ wrote:
    Usually threads have a point. What was it again?
    ^

  6. Post
    #6
    Seriously GP!
    For the love of Jebus please stop allowing Settlers to make threads. All they do is stupid up the place.

  7. Post
    #7
    Read about 5 words, then meh. tl;dr

  8. Post
    #8
    Lazza wrote:
    What are the odds of an alien race also misnaming their space troopers as "marines" like Warhammer 40k has.
    But they aren't Marines. They are Space Marines.

  9. Post
    #9

  10. Post
    #10
    OP has no understanding of what a Marine is, or how apt it is to call Space Marines 'space' 'marines' - seeing as how they are goddamn marines....in space.

    L2 geek before someone cuts you fool.

    e- actually went back and read your post. Wow. You dont know ANYTHING do you? Ignorance is 1337 i guess.

  11. Post
    #11
    Lazza wrote:
    Wanting to evaluate them quickly it dawns on me how mind numbingly simple or out-right useless the names are for describing the game to which they belong.
    games have always been this way, the same goes for movies.

    R-type - What would you think that meant if you hadnt seen it? a typing game?

    Double Dragon - A game about a 2 headed dragon?

    get over it. its obviously going to be harder to assess what the games are, especially when there is such a large variety. i dont wana be in a world where game titles are.. "you play a character that kills dragons and noms up their souls and can free roam and do quests and other stuff"

  12. Post
    #12
    Lazza wrote:
    The problem here of course is that Witcher is a gender specific term, Witchers are female sorcerers.
    Wrong, those are called WITCHES (plural of witch). Witcher is a term specific to Sapkowski's fiction universe.
    "SpaceMarine". A contradiction in terms. Marines are a mostly amphibious American army corps. Sure there are British Marines etc., but nobody ever uses the term in reference to them. In the game they're not from the USA, they are not even from Earth. What are the odds of an alien race also misnaming their space troopers as "marines" like Warhammer 40k has.
    The USMC are labelled "amphibious" mainly because they often used sea insertion and worked closely with the US Navy.

    What is a common theme in Science Fiction? Space navies. What do the space navies typically possess? Space ships. What would space infantries use for insertion and transport? Also space ships. It's not that hard, use some f*cking common sense.

    "Sniper". For how many hours did they anguish before uttering this pièce de résistance. Maybe it'll be followed by the beautifully named "Soldier", and then maybe topped off in part 3 with the purely ingenious "Man With Gun"?
    First you complain that some game titles don't describe what you're doing in the game (eg Skyrim. Which is about the location in which the game takes place. A f*cking 20 second or less Google search would tell you this.), but then you contradict yourself and nitpick over a simple and straight to the point title like this one? (telling you exactly what your role in the game is, a sniper.) Christ, you're impossible to please.

    In conclusion, this is a stupid, pointless thread and you should learn how to do basic research.

  13. Post
    #13
    Please block settlers from making threads. This **** is getting insane

  14. Post
    #14
    So, from the Lazza school of names-must-describe-the-game, we have:

    Fantasy RPG with dragons
    Fantasy RPG with dragons and other monsters
    Polish fantasy rpg with dragons and other monsters
    Isometric fantasy rpg with monsters
    Isometric fantasy rpg with monsters II
    Isometric fantasy rpg with monsters III
    Science Fantasy FPS in Space
    Game with a sniper rifle, no not one of those popular ones
    Air fighter sim, no not that one a different one
    Fratboy modern warfare simulator
    Other fratboy modern warfare simulator

    Yup, those sure are exciting sounding games, and so easy to tell apart

  15. Post
    #15
    Lazza wrote:
    The biggest load of **** posted on GD in some time.
    So by your rationale, what does your user name describe?

  16. Post
    #16
    what a weird bitch fest lol.

  17. Post
    #17
    For what it's worth, I thought this thread was comedy gold

    LOL at this:

    Lazza wrote:
    "Sniper". For how many hours did they anguish before uttering this pièce de résistance. Maybe it'll be followed by the beautifully named "Soldier", and then maybe topped off in part 3 with the purely ingenious "Man With Gun"?

  18. Post
    #18
    Skyrim - I don't understand it!!!
    Sniper - Too easy and boring and dumb!!!

    Blatant troll, please don't bite.

  19. Post
    #19
    OP does not have a future in gimmicky video game reviewing.

  20. Post
    #20
    EvaUnit02 wrote:
    Wrong, those are called WITCHES (plural of witch). Witcher is a term specific to Sapkowski's fiction universe.
    You'd think someone familiar with the story of Hansel & Gretel (mentioned in the immediately previous sentence no less) would at least be able to spot the pretty blatant grammatical difference, lol...

  21. Post
    #21
    Got that bitcher a dictionary. Bitchers love dictionaries.

  22. Post
    #22
    Space exploration is thought of as similar to early sea exploration hence space ship, space marine, colony planet -as with islands, that's how we end up with New Zealand. Skyrim is actually older than you likely are, as it is the home of the Nords, part of Tamriel first mentioned in the early 1990s RPG Arena (The Elder Scrolls 1).

    Attached Images


  23. Post
    #23
    i think you all got trolled..

  24. Post
    #24
    Embarrassing thread.

    Ironically though, going from his 2 year posting history - his favorite game appears to be "Elite"

  25. Post
    #25
    Bloody wrote:
    i think you all got trolled..
    I'm not giving him enough credit to have made such an embarrassing thread on purpose

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