Stream of HOSciousness Transfer Station (NSFW)

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  1. Post
    Magic Robertson wrote:
    Everyone points to exercise, So since it's a fine day I'll go for a walk.
    Yeah man, get those feel good chemicals released. Plus getting out in the sun and fresh air has lots of benefits too

  2. Post
    Magic Robertson wrote:
    My stress levels just keep going up and it seems i need at least one lorazepam a day just to get by.
    It's not a good way to live.
    Careful, the benzos can easily ruin your life if you're being overprescribed and can start making things worse if you're not using them sparingly in the long-term.

    I think you've mentioned having problems with alcohol? The addiction pathway can be similar if you weren't a drink to get drunk type and the withdrawals have a similar mechanism (Kindling, DTs etc.) but can be come on quicker or be more prolonged depending on the half-life of the benzo you're on (I forgot how Lorazepam works, I preferred the Xanax + Clonazepam combo).

  3. Smile
    Gesellschaft wrote:
    Careful, the benzos can easily ruin your life if you're being overprescribed and can start making things worse if you're not using them sparingly in the long-term.
    Yeah I'm aware of that.

    I don't have a lot of options but it seems i just have to suffer.
    Problem is the doctors basically told me they can't do anything more than what they've done.

    Either i climb out of my hole or just live like this until i die. Not something i look forward to.

    I can't keep taking my meds and there's no other way out, Apart from if i kill myself but everyone said how that's a bad idea, Well in my position it's not a bad idea.

  4. Post
    Magic Robertson wrote:
    Yeah that's the sort of thing i was worried about.

    Even though the sun was shining it was still a tiny bit cool out there, Walked around the block of houses.
    Nice mate..gotta be careful when adding drugs (prescript or not) to the mix.

    I recently came of long term use of gabapentin and it smashed me. Similar to coming off long term alcohol dependance.

    Food and exercise are amazingly helpful for leveling me out emotionally and pain reduction. When I gave up sugar/gluten/soy/dairy earlier this year I actually got quite a mood boost from it which was completely unexpected and awesome.

    Good on ya for getting out for a walk...release those feel-good drugs.

    For a maximum mood boost hit all the drugs at once.
    *improve food (serotonin)
    *exercise (endorphins)
    *focus on helpful relationships (oxytocin)
    *rewire your brain for happiness (practice gratitude)(serotonin)
    *notice your small successes/progress. (dopamine)
    *get out in the sun (melatonin)


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  5. Smile
    Thanks krashersmasher.

    And I'm sorry for bringing my negative thoughts in here, it's just i live with them everyday.
    I'll head off to do some gaming.
    Last edited by Magic Robertson; 18th September 2019 at 1:03 pm.

  6. Post
    mate, we much prefer you get things off your chest and talk about it here instead of bottling it up until you cant stand it any longer Just always know there are a ton of people here you can reach out to if you ever want to chat!

  7. Post
    ^ Agree!

  8. Post
    ^ Also agree!

  9. Post
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Only in the USA

  10. Post
    krashersmasher wrote:
    Nice mate..gotta be careful when adding drugs (prescript or not) to the mix.

    I recently came of long term use of gabapentin and it smashed me. Similar to coming off long term alcohol dependance.

    Food and exercise are amazingly helpful for leveling me out emotionally and pain reduction. When I gave up sugar/gluten/soy/dairy earlier this year I actually got quite a mood boost from it which was completely unexpected and awesome.

    Good on ya for getting out for a walk...release those feel-good drugs.

    For a maximum mood boost hit all the drugs at once.
    *improve food (serotonin)
    *exercise (endorphins)
    *focus on helpful relationships (oxytocin)
    *rewire your brain for happiness (practice gratitude)(serotonin)
    *notice your small successes/progress. (dopamine)
    *get out in the sun (melatonin)


    Click image for larger version. 

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    This is good advice. Whats difficult is our blocks or ability to obtaining or accepting those beneficial situations and activities.

    For instance, if you have never had a healthy relationship how are you able to get a decent dose of Oxytocin to feel connected to people. If you've been a chronic caretaker or enmeshed with a caregiver/experienced overt abandonment growing up, or never had a genuine intimate (not sexual) connection with someone you need to find a way to get this modeled for you before you're able to even know what it is let alone experience it.

    It's really, really hard.

    Magic i know what severe anxiety feels like and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I was damn near to dropping a benzo myself last night.

    If you have any gas in the tank to take a walk with try doing some more strenuous activity like a calisthenics work out and find someone to talk who makes you feel safe if you haven't already.


    Just remember to take small steps and retreat to a safe space when you need to feel comfortable.

    Take care and send me a message if you'd like any more resources.

  11. Lightbulb
    LiQuid.Ace wrote:
    mate, we much prefer you get things off your chest and talk about it here instead of bottling it up until you cant stand it any longer Just always know there are a ton of people here you can reach out to if you ever want to chat!
    98% of the time it feels like i wanna kill myself, I've tried to stop telling people because people don't want to hear it.

    Kid6o6 wrote:
    Magic i know what severe anxiety feels like and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I was damn near to dropping a benzo myself last night.

    If you have any gas in the tank to take a walk with try doing some more strenuous activity like a calisthenics work out and find someone to talk who makes you feel safe if you haven't already.

    Just remember to take small steps and retreat to a safe space when you need to feel comfortable.

    Take care and send me a message if you'd like any more resources.
    Well social media makes it hard for me,

    like the non stop rejection of a dating site i go to, And then Anroid wanting to f**k the hell out of grief maker.

    I mean tom waits was right "you'll find your ignorance is blissful every goddamned time".

    I just don't want to know anything anymore, i want to just play my games and forget the world.

    Getting outside just makes it harder, Especially when i have contact with people.

  12. Post
    Magic Robertson wrote:
    Yeah that's the sort of thing i was worried about.

    Even though the sun was shining it was still a tiny bit cool out there, Walked around the block of houses.
    You obviously do no regular exercise at all, so that's a big health issue right there.

    All the pills in the World won't help if you don't take even basic care of your body.

    Still, I bet all your doctors have been telling you that for ever

  13. Post
    Yeah MR I probably would recommend not trying weed if you're consistently taking anti anxiety meds. I'd really focus on trying to lower that, I know it's hard but the anti anxiety meds seem like a short term option only...

  14. Post
    I'm looking at getting into gardening now that I've got some space. Might be worth looking into? I also still recommend getting a cat

  15. Post
    When I went through counseling and started my ADs I found cooking was one thing that took my mind away from myself.

  16. Post
    Kid6o6 wrote:
    This is good advice. Whats difficult is our blocks or ability to obtaining or accepting those beneficial situations and activities.

    For instance, if you have never had a healthy relationship how are you able to get a decent dose of Oxytocin to feel connected to people. If you've been a chronic caretaker or enmeshed with a caregiver/experienced overt abandonment growing up, or never had a genuine intimate (not sexual) connection with someone you need to find a way to get this modeled for you before you're able to even know what it is let alone experience it.

    It's really, really hard.

    Magic i know what severe anxiety feels like and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I was damn near to dropping a benzo myself last night.

    If you have any gas in the tank to take a walk with try doing some more strenuous activity like a calisthenics work out and find someone to talk who makes you feel safe if you haven't already.


    Just remember to take small steps and retreat to a safe space when you need to feel comfortable.

    Take care and send me a message if you'd like any more resources.
    Totally agree...getting well is so nuanced and personal and broad sweeping advice rarely hits the mark. Nice to see people looking out for each other around here. I might be feeling some oxy just from witnessing this.

  17. Post
    the kid @ 1:12

  18. Post
    I've said many a time exercise is the silver bullet for depression. It's not all about the gym, I used to swim 3/4 times a week for 40mins in summer or so a 40min brisk walk around the neighborhood/parks. I hit a low a few months back, and I moved house so I was away from the green neighborhood that was keeping me happy. Fortunately with a change of job lifestyle and being back to regular exercise, I'm feeling a lot better.

    I know everyone is different but you gotta find your flavour. One of my friends was a depressive stoner and he's found his calling doing Jiu Jitsu (sp?) and while that's much more a social sport it still helped him immensely

  19. Post
    Everyone dealing with this stuff needs to go read/listen to a book called "Lost Connections" by Johan Hari. Imo it's the most relevant and up to date tome on the causes and solutions to depression and anxiety and yes, i include the DSM in that statement.

    For me, i need to move a lot as well. If i don't i can crash. Had a period last year where i was pretty bad, but was able to surf in the sun nearly every day. It really was remarkable how effective that was at moving the sad, at least for a little while. Even hour to hour. I remember a day when i was really bad but forced myself into the water, two hours later i was in a much better mood. It didn't solve everything permanently but that day it was a cure for at least a little while.

  20. Post
    Anyone into survivor? Just watched the survivor au final, wanna debrief the season lol.

  21. Post
    i.e.awesome wrote:
    Anyone into survivor? Just watched the survivor au final, wanna debrief the season lol.
    Yeah but I haven't watched the au seasons. Are they good?

  22. Post
    CODChimera wrote:
    Yeah but I haven't watched the au seasons. Are they good?
    The latest one was excellent imo, can't remember the others

  23. Post
    i wish i was more depressed.

    i feel like im not depressed enough to A) fit in w/ u guys and B) be this much of a burnout

  24. Post
    wtb a cat suffocation device

  25. Post
    targerting advertising algorithms still not deconvoluting your fetishes properly i see